For Better or Worse.

Most people don’t go into a marriage expecting the worse part to show its ugly head early on. I think most of us really feel that the worse will show up after ten years or so. I mean, you’re getting married for Pete’s sake. You are completely in love, it’s all exciting, it’s all coming together. You are beginning a journey based off of hopes and dreams.  First things first, Nick and I celebrated our three year wedding anniversary this past April.  Three years. Only three. And yet our second year of marriage we were met with a hump on the road to marital bliss.

Nick isn’t one to share things. Like very little to none at all with the general public. Our family and marital issues are ours and ours alone. And rightfully so. But I’m writing this post because this isn’t so much about our marriage but because of the TBI (traumatic brain injury) that decided to put its bitch ass into the smack dab center of our family and marriage. And I’m sharing our experience because after joining a Facebook support group and talking with others affected by numerous concussions, it’s obvious that society still doesn’t understand and that the family members and friends of the TBI loved one still feel anger and emotions towards the problem and sometimes the victim. This is his 5th TBI.

Life has changed as we once knew it. The person I married has changed.  I have changed. Our family has changed.  I wanted to share the REALITY of our life and the REALITY OF TBI.

People don’t get it. When you break something or have scars, something that’s VISIBLY wrong with you, it’s easier for other human beings to understand. It’s easier for them to be sympathetic. When it’s your brain however, the damage is hidden. You look the same on the outside so you MUST BE BETTER!! wrong. So very wrong. People continue to put unneeded stress & continue to demand the same things if not more than they use too and the person who has suffered the TBI is just not capable of always resuming their regular responsibilities. It’s overwhelming, emotional, and does more harm than folks realize.

Depression Risk is Higher.  Repeated concussions raise the risks of a person becoming clinically depressed. So much so that they also have an increased rate of suicide. They will need your love and support. They will need the assistance of a professional and some meds to help them get through life. 

YOUR LOVED ONE IS STILL IN THERE.  They still love you. And they desperately want to be able to do the same things they were use too. But they can’t. Speech may be affected. Other motor skills can be affected.  Be patient. Be kind. I can get frustrated. And angry. And it’s sometimes hard for me to not want to lash out at my husband.  Maverick was just 2 months when it happened. Nick couldn’t get out of bed for WEEKS. I was exhausted from lack of sleep, working, and what felt like taking care of 3 kids and 3 dogs all by myself. I was so angry and sad. I ended up having to be put on Zoloft to help me cope.  My advise, join a support group. Talk to someone. But try not to lash out at your family member, loved one, spouse. It does absolutely no good.

NEW NORMAL.  Say goodbye to doing things together that might cause over stimulation.  Concerts, places with too many people or noises. Night clubs. Anything with strobe lights. If the person has been exposed to several TBIs, say goodbye to doing any activities that has an increased risk of getting another. 

Ongoing MEDICAL NEEDS. He/she might need ongoing counseling to battle depression or help with managing stress, temper, memory improvement and problem solving.  Treatment for migraines and vertigo.

•They are Brain Damaged not Brain Dead.  Okay, sometimes you’re going to want to just do all the shit yourself because it’s easier than watching your significant other struggle or get it done painstakingly slow. But don’t. DO NOT start taking over everything as if they are some helpless child.  They need to relearn. It’s hard to watch them struggle but it’s part of the process. It’s also damaging their pride and self worth. Help if it gets to be too much or if asked. Don’t treat them like incapable children.

I could go on but it would take up entirely way to much time.  I hope that this has opened your eyes a little bit to the struggles people have when it comes to TBI. Or at the very least let you know that if you’re going through this, you are not alone. 

Have an amazing and blessed day! Love, The Brett Family

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Master Bedroom Reno.

So y’all we’ve lived in our house for three and a half years. We ripped up the carpet in our bedroom like 2 years ago I think. A third dog, a pregnancy, a new baby, an accident at work, we FINALLY put paint on our walls and floors are down! I am doing a happy dance right now. Walking on bare unfinished concrete floors sucks. Walking on bare concrete floors in the winter time sucks major balls.  

So we painted the room. In June of last year. 😂 and we finally HIRED someone to put down the floors 8 months later. As in like two weeks ago.  I’m pretty sure that we are not doing another thing to this room.  But here it is y’all. Our little slice of heaven. 

Direct Sales. Real Talk.

So I told myself a very long time ago that I would not involve myself in direct sales.  I don’t have any desire to do a pyramid scheme. I don’t want to shell out money for products I have to push. 

I don’t like pushy. At all. I don’t like for people to show up at my house and try to push things on me.  And I don’t like to do it to other people.  With all that being said, I don’t even know why I was browsing online for DS companies, but I stumbled across Pink Papaya. 

I’m using it myself more than I’m selling it, but I genuinely love their company and their products.  They empower women. They’re cruelty free. And all their products are made in the USA! Right now I’m hooked on their body butters. They’re so rich and smell amazing. I use their foundation powder EVERY SINGLE DAY!  EVERY. Day. It’s lightweight but covers enough that I feel put together. So as of now, it’s my go to makeup product. Also their eyeshadows are long lasting so for any woman working a 12 hour day, that’s always a plus. 

Am I making money? The short answer? Yes.  Long answer? It’s not as much as I want and I put it on the back burner for the holidays so I made zero in November and December. Truthfully, direct sales income depends on the amount of work you want to put in.  It’s not going to run itself. You’re going to have to figure out how much time you want to dedicate to this new business venture.  Right now, I’m on Facebook nonstop trying to promote. I’m doing FB parties, leaving catalogs where ever I can. 

I give out samples when an appropriate opportunity arises. I also think because I genuinely like using their products, I really like to tell other people about them. Enjoying the products you sell makes a big difference. Is it making my dreams come true? Well, in a round about way, yea. Is it making me thousands?! Nope. Not even close. But I work 40 hours a week along with having to tend to my family, so I’m only giving a max of 5 hours a week to this. I’m squeezing time in between breaks at work, lunch, Maverick’s naps on the weekends, Hails baton night on Thursday. You get the picture. 

Direct Sales is absolutely what you make of it. It’s not easy so don’t ever let someone give you an easy sell! You have to want to make it successful. You’re going to have to work for it. Whether you’re curious, wanting it just as a hobby, or really want to earn a little extra, it is what you make it out to be! 

   
    
 

Happy Birthday Baby Maverick!!

On February 6, our family celebrated the first of I pray many birthdays to come for our sweet boy.  My girlfriends kept telling me that there is just something about a sweet baby boy.  That the bond between a boy and his mama is just different. And oh, how right they were.  I’ve had 365 days to get use to being a “boy mom”, 365 days to change diapers, 365 days to kiss little boy toes, 365 days to say “mama loves you.”

I’ve had time to learn new things about having a baby boy. Like how when they shit, it cakes up on their little huevos and I’m scared to death I am of hurting him when they needed to be cleaned 😱!  Or how as soon as the cold air hits them, they’ll just pee EVERYWHERE!  

But truthfully, with exception of a couple months of sleepless nights, life with this little boy has been awesome! He’s brought this family so much joy.  Hails and him have bonded and she has been the biggest help with him too.  And I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful Nick has been in his role as daddy and husband.  Has everyday been rainbow and sunshine? No. Not by a long shot. But this boy makes my heart swoon and has me telling God thank you everyday for his many blessings! 

My 2015 Year End Rant! 

Another glorious (cough cough) year is finally coming to an end and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  While 2015 has brought our family the greatest of blessings ( sweet baby Maverick) it’s left me exhausted. And I mean it in every possible way. I’m so tired of so much hurt and pain that’s occurring everywhere.  I’m very tired of how overly sensitive this nation has become. I’m so tired of so many things that I’m going to dedicate this entire post to bitching about it all!!  

*********Disclaimer**********

I’m not politically correct. I file that under STUFF I COULDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT. So before you read this, you might offended. But I don’t care. These are my thoughts and opinions. You don’t have to read them, agree with them, or like them. 

  • Trump for President.   Okay, I know a lot of you out there REALLY THINK that he’d make an awesome president but he’d be shit as president!!!!  First, he’s a bigot. An openly, unapologetic bigot.  You cannot expect to talk shit about another country, race, ethinicty and then want to talk about a peace treaty with them.  I’m not saying play nice all the time. Sometimes it’s passed time to kick some ass.  But pissing off people all over the world is not going to get folks to back us. He wants to run the country like a business. It’s not a business. It’s a nation and he could very well run it into the ground.  He’s a womanizer. He’s dodged the draft. You want a man who refused to fight for your country to lead the nation?! Um, okay. Yea that sounds legit. He doesn’t know the first thing about being commander and chief.  Get your head out of your ass America, he’s not the right man for the job. 
  • The Pussification of a Nation.  I cannot even begin to tell you how much I hate hearing or reading about the ways that someone has been offended. People, life is not fair. I shouldn’t have to pretend to not want to hurt your feelings. Truthfully, I give two shits about your feelings. I have a CHRISTMAS TREE in my house. You don’t?! Well great for you. Guess what, I don’t care. It doesn’t offend me or bother me in any shape, way, or form.  You shouldn’t be offended that I don’t refer to mine as a holiday tree. Teachers shouldn’t mark the paper with red because it’s harsh. Harsh?? Um, an F is a F regardless if it’s in red ink or if you make it look like Rainbow Bright puked all over the fucking paper. Also, giving every child a ribbon or trophy is stupid. The corporate world doesn’t give a shit that you tried your best. You don’t get drafted to NFL because you’ve got heart and you’re a “winner!” You get drafted because your good! You keep your job because you do well! Life doesn’t hand out stickers for just showing up! Stop making your children think it should!  Don’t like something on Facebook (that’s not harming a child, animal, etc) scroll past it. Get over it.  Suck shit up people seriously! Your whining over dumb shit is hard to swallow and makes me want to punch you in the throat!!!
  • The fight for your right to breastfeed in public. Dude, I applaud you and the billion other women on the planet that want to breast feed their baby.  I have two children. I pumped for 6 months with my first and only for 2 with Baby Maverick because I made a very selfish decision (sarcasm) to not be a dairy cow to my child. I know. I hear you already! OMG how could you?! You’re taking something beautiful and making it seem blah blah blah. Guess what. They’re my titties. My kid. With that being said, I don’t think you should be made to feed your baby in the bathroom. What I do find annoying though is every 5 fucking seconds there’s a blog entry, article, or Instagram about it. Whatever happened to this being a very special and important moment being PERSONAL?! Why suddenly is everyone having to confess their need to breastfeed.   I don’t care if you breastfeed your baby at a restaurant. However, you need to realize that even though we shouldn’t have to worry about other people snapping pictures of your boobage, the sad reality is that it does happen. It’s a risk you take when you do not want to bottle feed and you refuse to cover up.  Again, I hear the comments. I’m not condoning the person taking the picture. I’m just saying it’s going to happen. Also, if you don’t want someone else posting a picture of you breastfeeding on social media, how come you post your own pictures on social media? So it’s okay if it was associated with a “beautiful moment” vs “cover up” comments. That’s called a double standard. 
  • Keep the immigrants out!!!!!! Oh, so you’re entire lineage is from North America right? As in from the Indians that were here when Christopher Columbus docked his ship on the shores.  None of you bitching about the immigrants have Anglo Saxon, Irish, German, Spanish,Italian,French, Puerto Rican, Mexican, etc? Right?  This nation was affectionately known as the “melting pot” because of its’ various races and ethinicty within its’ boarders.  It use to be the country that promised freedom and happiness. Do any of you remember why the United States was gifted the Statue of Liberty?  Do you even know what it says? It says “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free.” When did you people feel that this country that has openly accepted YOUR ANCESTORS, should now close its borders to everyone?! Also, those who want to fight illegal immigration need to start looking at American businesses.  These people coming here are doing so because an AMERICAN is paying them under the table. They’re given jobs that most Americans feel are beneath them. It’s a hard pill to swallow I know. That your own neighbor has Carlos doing his roof. Yea. Thought so. Hope you don’t choke on it. Do I think we should have to learn their language and offer them all kinds of free health care, with other governments benefits, uh no. But shit we already offer it to good ole fashion Americans who don’t want to work and breed like German Shepards. All I’m saying is openly accept that the rest of the world views us the land of opportunity. The land of freedom. Those who go through the right channels should be given the same chance our great great great etc, were given.  I love America.  She use to be amazing. I think she still is underneath all the political correct bullshit and self righteous assholes.  But I hate to say it, if things don’t change, it’s only going to get so so much worse.
  • Common Core.  I hated school when I had to go.  Now I hate school now that my daughter goes even more so.  I have ZERO hours in common core math so how the hell am I supposed to help my kid in shit I’ve never seen much less understand. Critical thinking skills, rationalizing, how about we get our kids to successfully wash the shampoo out of their hair before you start trying to make them into rocket scientist . How about we master the basics before the educational system tells them that they need to draw the blueprints to some piece of equipment Sheldon Cooper thought of?! Teachers hate it. Kids hate it. I loathe it. 

With that my friends, I will 

Working Mom Woes.

So as fall makes its beautiful descent to the southern states, I find myself wishing more and more that I could stay at home with my kids.  Granted Hails is in school but Maverick is only 8 months. I want to sit outside and drink my coffee while Maverick drinks is bottle.

I want to go grocery shopping after dropping hails off at school when there’s nobody at Wal-mart and I don’t have to drive around in circles for a parking spot.

I want to take a nap with my son. 

I want to be able to attend every parent involved event at my daughter’s school without having to work it around my lunch schedule at the office. 

I want to be able to stay home and comfort my kids when they’re sick without worrying about calling in.

 I want to be home to make dinner at a decent time. This cooking shit after I’ve been at work since 8 am and finally get home at 6:00 is for the birds. I’ve made some changes that have helped. Like on most Sunday’s I’ll cook a lot so I won’t have to for most of the week. But I’d rather be spending it outside chasing the dogs or taking pictures of my minions (children) playing with leaves or whatever.  

And then there’s Hails homework. She’s in 4th grade and has the most obsurd amount of homework I’ve ever seen. Not to mention that it’s centered around Common Core (the devil’s education). Meaning, a worksheet that should only take us 30 minutes takes an hour or more because my kid doesn’t under the shit and I’m sitting here googling the answers or trying to find how to work it out.  This nightly event almost always ends in frustration or in tears. If I were a stay at home mom, I could pick my child up as soon as school was over and have homework finished way before 8:30 every bloody night. 

And I want to not pay a fucking ridiculous amount of money for someone else to raise my children.  I went back to work once he hit 2 months but I had a private sitter that I (and Maverick) ADORED!!  She was so sweet kinda like a grandmother figure.  And then out of the blue (bless her heart) she became ill and is uncertain when or if she’d be able to keep him anymore.  This lead up to finding a daycare center to put my child in.  Something I DID NOT want to do until he was of preschool age.  But as with all things in life, that’s just the way it goes.  I use to say that I couldn’t be a stay at home mo however, now it’s all I think about. 

I know I’m not the first mommy out there that feels this way and I know for sure I won’t be the last one. 

New Mom Beauty Routine.

So there’s a new baby in our home. Ha ha ha. New baby. Is a 7 month old still considered a new baby? Whether he is or not, I’m still struggling to get my shit together in the mornings. 

I’ve set my alarm to 5:30. Maverick has typically been sleeping until 6 am so I figured “half an hour should be enough.” Enough for makeup, packing Hails lunch, eating my breakfast, making his bottle, letting the dogs out, letting the dogs in, enough time to fix my hair. A cup of coffee. Stretch. 

I’m laughing as I just finished this paragraph because all of the above in 30 minutes is just ridiculous. I actually almost never really FIX my hair. 

So really my makeup routine consists of very basic elements. Concealer, powder/bronzer, mascara, eyeshadow, & I make it to brush in my eyebrows SOMETIMES.

My go to beauty products won’t break the bank & aren’t tested on animals. Which as a mom with a family on a budget & animal lover those are my MUST requirements.

  
Wet n Wild max volume mascara is AMAZING! Before I invested time into researching who tested on animals and didn’t, I was buying maybelline. They have no desire to stop stabbing cute bunnies in the eyes with mascara wands so fuck em. And I found this type. It coats, it thickens, it makes my eyelashes look fantastic for about $6.50. 

The bronzer is by Physicians Formula and I’m so in love. It’s light on my skin and gives me a subtle glow. Which is great because then I don’t look like a cast member off the Walking Dead. 

And since I’m putting on makeup, it better last me the better part of the day. I cannot say enough good things about Pink Papayas color collection. I use E.l.f concealer under my eyes and on my eyelid. It acts like a primer and when I apply my Pink Papaya eye shadow trust me when I tell you a little goes a long way. 

I miss the mornings that I could just shrug my shoulders at the lack of effort I dished out. Those were the days I could sleep for 12 hours and I woke up looking natural and blissfully pretty. Now with the stress of projects at home and at work, football season in full swing, homework until almost 9 every night, and a baby, sleeping for 8 hours is a luxury. Father Time doesn’t help either. My skin doesn’t look anything like it did in my early twenties! Damn it!!

Here’s to all you new mommies trying to look pretty while dragging ass. 👍🏻