Happy Birthday Baby Maverick!!

On February 6, our family celebrated the first of I pray many birthdays to come for our sweet boy.  My girlfriends kept telling me that there is just something about a sweet baby boy.  That the bond between a boy and his mama is just different. And oh, how right they were.  I’ve had 365 days to get use to being a “boy mom”, 365 days to change diapers, 365 days to kiss little boy toes, 365 days to say “mama loves you.”

I’ve had time to learn new things about having a baby boy. Like how when they shit, it cakes up on their little huevos and I’m scared to death I am of hurting him when they needed to be cleaned 😱!  Or how as soon as the cold air hits them, they’ll just pee EVERYWHERE!  

But truthfully, with exception of a couple months of sleepless nights, life with this little boy has been awesome! He’s brought this family so much joy.  Hails and him have bonded and she has been the biggest help with him too.  And I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful Nick has been in his role as daddy and husband.  Has everyday been rainbow and sunshine? No. Not by a long shot. But this boy makes my heart swoon and has me telling God thank you everyday for his many blessings! 

My 2015 Year End Rant! 

Another glorious (cough cough) year is finally coming to an end and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  While 2015 has brought our family the greatest of blessings ( sweet baby Maverick) it’s left me exhausted. And I mean it in every possible way. I’m so tired of so much hurt and pain that’s occurring everywhere.  I’m very tired of how overly sensitive this nation has become. I’m so tired of so many things that I’m going to dedicate this entire post to bitching about it all!!  

*********Disclaimer**********

I’m not politically correct. I file that under STUFF I COULDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT. So before you read this, you might offended. But I don’t care. These are my thoughts and opinions. You don’t have to read them, agree with them, or like them. 

  • Trump for President.   Okay, I know a lot of you out there REALLY THINK that he’d make an awesome president but he’d be shit as president!!!!  First, he’s a bigot. An openly, unapologetic bigot.  You cannot expect to talk shit about another country, race, ethinicty and then want to talk about a peace treaty with them.  I’m not saying play nice all the time. Sometimes it’s passed time to kick some ass.  But pissing off people all over the world is not going to get folks to back us. He wants to run the country like a business. It’s not a business. It’s a nation and he could very well run it into the ground.  He’s a womanizer. He’s dodged the draft. You want a man who refused to fight for your country to lead the nation?! Um, okay. Yea that sounds legit. He doesn’t know the first thing about being commander and chief.  Get your head out of your ass America, he’s not the right man for the job. 
  • The Pussification of a Nation.  I cannot even begin to tell you how much I hate hearing or reading about the ways that someone has been offended. People, life is not fair. I shouldn’t have to pretend to not want to hurt your feelings. Truthfully, I give two shits about your feelings. I have a CHRISTMAS TREE in my house. You don’t?! Well great for you. Guess what, I don’t care. It doesn’t offend me or bother me in any shape, way, or form.  You shouldn’t be offended that I don’t refer to mine as a holiday tree. Teachers shouldn’t mark the paper with red because it’s harsh. Harsh?? Um, an F is a F regardless if it’s in red ink or if you make it look like Rainbow Bright puked all over the fucking paper. Also, giving every child a ribbon or trophy is stupid. The corporate world doesn’t give a shit that you tried your best. You don’t get drafted to NFL because you’ve got heart and you’re a “winner!” You get drafted because your good! You keep your job because you do well! Life doesn’t hand out stickers for just showing up! Stop making your children think it should!  Don’t like something on Facebook (that’s not harming a child, animal, etc) scroll past it. Get over it.  Suck shit up people seriously! Your whining over dumb shit is hard to swallow and makes me want to punch you in the throat!!!
  • The fight for your right to breastfeed in public. Dude, I applaud you and the billion other women on the planet that want to breast feed their baby.  I have two children. I pumped for 6 months with my first and only for 2 with Baby Maverick because I made a very selfish decision (sarcasm) to not be a dairy cow to my child. I know. I hear you already! OMG how could you?! You’re taking something beautiful and making it seem blah blah blah. Guess what. They’re my titties. My kid. With that being said, I don’t think you should be made to feed your baby in the bathroom. What I do find annoying though is every 5 fucking seconds there’s a blog entry, article, or Instagram about it. Whatever happened to this being a very special and important moment being PERSONAL?! Why suddenly is everyone having to confess their need to breastfeed.   I don’t care if you breastfeed your baby at a restaurant. However, you need to realize that even though we shouldn’t have to worry about other people snapping pictures of your boobage, the sad reality is that it does happen. It’s a risk you take when you do not want to bottle feed and you refuse to cover up.  Again, I hear the comments. I’m not condoning the person taking the picture. I’m just saying it’s going to happen. Also, if you don’t want someone else posting a picture of you breastfeeding on social media, how come you post your own pictures on social media? So it’s okay if it was associated with a “beautiful moment” vs “cover up” comments. That’s called a double standard. 
  • Keep the immigrants out!!!!!! Oh, so you’re entire lineage is from North America right? As in from the Indians that were here when Christopher Columbus docked his ship on the shores.  None of you bitching about the immigrants have Anglo Saxon, Irish, German, Spanish,Italian,French, Puerto Rican, Mexican, etc? Right?  This nation was affectionately known as the “melting pot” because of its’ various races and ethinicty within its’ boarders.  It use to be the country that promised freedom and happiness. Do any of you remember why the United States was gifted the Statue of Liberty?  Do you even know what it says? It says “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free.” When did you people feel that this country that has openly accepted YOUR ANCESTORS, should now close its borders to everyone?! Also, those who want to fight illegal immigration need to start looking at American businesses.  These people coming here are doing so because an AMERICAN is paying them under the table. They’re given jobs that most Americans feel are beneath them. It’s a hard pill to swallow I know. That your own neighbor has Carlos doing his roof. Yea. Thought so. Hope you don’t choke on it. Do I think we should have to learn their language and offer them all kinds of free health care, with other governments benefits, uh no. But shit we already offer it to good ole fashion Americans who don’t want to work and breed like German Shepards. All I’m saying is openly accept that the rest of the world views us the land of opportunity. The land of freedom. Those who go through the right channels should be given the same chance our great great great etc, were given.  I love America.  She use to be amazing. I think she still is underneath all the political correct bullshit and self righteous assholes.  But I hate to say it, if things don’t change, it’s only going to get so so much worse.
  • Common Core.  I hated school when I had to go.  Now I hate school now that my daughter goes even more so.  I have ZERO hours in common core math so how the hell am I supposed to help my kid in shit I’ve never seen much less understand. Critical thinking skills, rationalizing, how about we get our kids to successfully wash the shampoo out of their hair before you start trying to make them into rocket scientist . How about we master the basics before the educational system tells them that they need to draw the blueprints to some piece of equipment Sheldon Cooper thought of?! Teachers hate it. Kids hate it. I loathe it. 

With that my friends, I will 

Working Mom Woes.

So as fall makes its beautiful descent to the southern states, I find myself wishing more and more that I could stay at home with my kids.  Granted Hails is in school but Maverick is only 8 months. I want to sit outside and drink my coffee while Maverick drinks is bottle.

I want to go grocery shopping after dropping hails off at school when there’s nobody at Wal-mart and I don’t have to drive around in circles for a parking spot.

I want to take a nap with my son. 

I want to be able to attend every parent involved event at my daughter’s school without having to work it around my lunch schedule at the office. 

I want to be able to stay home and comfort my kids when they’re sick without worrying about calling in.

 I want to be home to make dinner at a decent time. This cooking shit after I’ve been at work since 8 am and finally get home at 6:00 is for the birds. I’ve made some changes that have helped. Like on most Sunday’s I’ll cook a lot so I won’t have to for most of the week. But I’d rather be spending it outside chasing the dogs or taking pictures of my minions (children) playing with leaves or whatever.  

And then there’s Hails homework. She’s in 4th grade and has the most obsurd amount of homework I’ve ever seen. Not to mention that it’s centered around Common Core (the devil’s education). Meaning, a worksheet that should only take us 30 minutes takes an hour or more because my kid doesn’t under the shit and I’m sitting here googling the answers or trying to find how to work it out.  This nightly event almost always ends in frustration or in tears. If I were a stay at home mom, I could pick my child up as soon as school was over and have homework finished way before 8:30 every bloody night. 

And I want to not pay a fucking ridiculous amount of money for someone else to raise my children.  I went back to work once he hit 2 months but I had a private sitter that I (and Maverick) ADORED!!  She was so sweet kinda like a grandmother figure.  And then out of the blue (bless her heart) she became ill and is uncertain when or if she’d be able to keep him anymore.  This lead up to finding a daycare center to put my child in.  Something I DID NOT want to do until he was of preschool age.  But as with all things in life, that’s just the way it goes.  I use to say that I couldn’t be a stay at home mo however, now it’s all I think about. 

I know I’m not the first mommy out there that feels this way and I know for sure I won’t be the last one. 

New Mom Beauty Routine.

So there’s a new baby in our home. Ha ha ha. New baby. Is a 7 month old still considered a new baby? Whether he is or not, I’m still struggling to get my shit together in the mornings. 

I’ve set my alarm to 5:30. Maverick has typically been sleeping until 6 am so I figured “half an hour should be enough.” Enough for makeup, packing Hails lunch, eating my breakfast, making his bottle, letting the dogs out, letting the dogs in, enough time to fix my hair. A cup of coffee. Stretch. 

I’m laughing as I just finished this paragraph because all of the above in 30 minutes is just ridiculous. I actually almost never really FIX my hair. 

So really my makeup routine consists of very basic elements. Concealer, powder/bronzer, mascara, eyeshadow, & I make it to brush in my eyebrows SOMETIMES.

My go to beauty products won’t break the bank & aren’t tested on animals. Which as a mom with a family on a budget & animal lover those are my MUST requirements.

  
Wet n Wild max volume mascara is AMAZING! Before I invested time into researching who tested on animals and didn’t, I was buying maybelline. They have no desire to stop stabbing cute bunnies in the eyes with mascara wands so fuck em. And I found this type. It coats, it thickens, it makes my eyelashes look fantastic for about $6.50. 

The bronzer is by Physicians Formula and I’m so in love. It’s light on my skin and gives me a subtle glow. Which is great because then I don’t look like a cast member off the Walking Dead. 

And since I’m putting on makeup, it better last me the better part of the day. I cannot say enough good things about Pink Papayas color collection. I use E.l.f concealer under my eyes and on my eyelid. It acts like a primer and when I apply my Pink Papaya eye shadow trust me when I tell you a little goes a long way. 

I miss the mornings that I could just shrug my shoulders at the lack of effort I dished out. Those were the days I could sleep for 12 hours and I woke up looking natural and blissfully pretty. Now with the stress of projects at home and at work, football season in full swing, homework until almost 9 every night, and a baby, sleeping for 8 hours is a luxury. Father Time doesn’t help either. My skin doesn’t look anything like it did in my early twenties! Damn it!!

Here’s to all you new mommies trying to look pretty while dragging ass. 👍🏻

  

Facebook Detox.

I am a social media junky. There. I said it out loud. Or wrote it for people to see that I have a problem.  I couldn’t start the day without checking my newsfeed. I’d roll over, grab my phone, and get on Facebook. Despite telling myself that it was going to be filled with things that are going to break my heart. 

I could pretty much guarantee the mood I was going to have by what I encounter while patrolling my newsfeed or reading the things I was tagged in. Frankly, the majority of the things I was reading was horrible. They were sad, depressing, animal and baby horror stories. Day in. Day out. And it was starting to take a toll of my emotional and mental well being. 

These things left me angry and with an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. I love animals. I love reading happy stories about them and people. The problem is that the happy news was coming in less and less. I started unfollowing pages. Pages that really did good but whose stories were just awful.

Then there were the “friend posts” that actually make you want to scream “Get the fuck over yourself” and grow up. 

And lastly there were the posts I’d make and share. At least twenty times a day. AT LEAST! So I just decided to stop. I didn’t deactivate my account but I removed the app from my phone. I haven’t been on for two weeks. I haven’t cried. No mental breakdown. No withdrawals. Nothing except happier mornings and moods.  I also have more time believe it or not for my sweet Maverick. And I’m also making memories that I’m keeping to myself rather than sharing every single one with the world. 

I’m hoping to give it up all together eventually. Hoping my family overseas will all get in Instagram lol. 

Here’s to making one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 👍🏻  

 

And We’re Waiting……

We’ve endured 9 months of waiting.
We have the nursery pretty much complete, the car seats in are in the vehicles, our bags have been in the trunk for a month.
I have had the pregnancy glow. Along with the pregnancy sweat in between and underneath my boobs and other places I’d rather not say.
I’ve taken my cute weekly, monthly maternity pictures.
I’ve gotten the you are so cute pregnant compliments.
The omg you’re all belly compliments.
I’ve enjoyed your movements. Your sweet hiccups. Your little elbow and foot jabs.
Nick and I got a surprise 3D ultra sound and seeing your beautiful little face was a high point. Big pouty lips that you obviously got from your mother ;). Every ultra sound was exciting. And we shared the pictures with everyone.

I’ve made it a point to still dress cute. Or attempted to dress cute. Because for some reason as my belly grew during this pregnancy my ass shrunk and I’ve suffered from NOASSATALL for the last 4 or so months.
I’ve washed baby outfits.
I’ve sterilized the bottles and binkies (aka pacifiers).
I’ve nested. And nested. From the ceiling fans to base boards, I have cleaned. Disinfected. Wiped down.
I have endured almost a month of nonstop daily contractions. I’m dilated 3 cm. At 4 I can get my epidural but your hell bent on chillaxin at 3 cm and letting me be in agony.
You’ve spent even longer treating my vagina as a bass drum and sending sharp shooting pains every time you’ve kicked or head butted it from the inside. Sometimes it’s happen in public and reflexively I grab my crotch because it hurts so bad. Resulting in looks that range from “bless her heart” to “what the hell”. Turns out it’s called lightning vagina. Seriously. Look it up.

Spent almost an entire week on the Labor and delivery floor welcoming your cousin Addison into the world.
Really hoped that would have triggered a desire for you to vacate the premises. Aka as my insides.
Two false alarm trips to labor and delivery and we are still waiting.
STILL WAITING.
I’m officially up every two to three hours during the night anyway. Either because I have to pee (please get the F off my bladder) to night time boob milk leakage, night sweats, or my favorite, contractions. So there’s no sleep. For anyone. Not me. Not your dad. Not your fur siblings. No one.
We are past the point of exhaustion. Past the point of anxiousness. And I’m so very sick and tired of having people tell me to be patient. I am not patient. At all. And patience as a virtue is beyond stupid. Purpose. I like things to be done with purpose and in a timely manner.

I didn’t get to finish the above post because I just so happened to have an ob appointment and I was at 4 cm sooooooo we are in labor and delivery 🙂

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